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How to Share the Mental Load of Holiday Planning with Your Partner

Happy Black Friday Eve! (Sometimes known as Thanksgiving!)

Today is usually the day we stuff ourselves with delicious food, get together with friends and family and give thanks to all that we are grateful. This year, however may look and feel a little different. We might be gathering outside or on Zoom … or not at all. We might be making the most of the holiday or we might not be “feeling it” at all. Wherever you are at this Thanksgiving, I am hopeful that you have something(s) - no matter how small - to be grateful for.

Today, before the stress and adrenaline of preparing for the winter holidays hits full force, I want to share with you some tips on how you can share the mental load of holiday preparations with your partner… and still have the holidays meet YOUR expectations.


Modify or let go of your expectations. Doing this:

  • makes it easier to release tasks and the management of them.

  • helps to temper our reaction to the outcome.

  • gives our partner the ability to step-up and step-in to taking on full responsibility for some of the holiday planning and preparation.


Connect with your partner to divvy up holiday tasks and responsibilities:

  • talk with your partner about all the things that need to be done.

  • brainstorm options for dividing the responsibilities.

  • agree to a plan to move forward with.


Create a Command Central to capture the agreed to plan. Be sure that it:

  • is visible and easily accessible to both of you.

  • lists who is responsible for each task and due dates.

  • Is useful - this is more important that it being fancy, creative or Pinterest-worthy.

The best part about implementing any or all of these tips is that once you put them in place this year, they will be there for years to come. If you’d like to get ideas or guidance on implementing these tips, you can find me and a community of support in the Beautifully Krazy Life™ Facebook group at:


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